these are the days I'll be thinking about
thirty years from now thinking
gosh, those were the best days of my life.

Today they drew more dates

We read through the list

Quickly scanning them all

Mom found it first

Tears streamed down her cheeks

Her only true fear

Is to lose her dear son

Sis saw it next

She shouted and yelled

Dreading my future

When dad saw it

He simply looked grave

He clapped my back

But said not a word

Last to see was my love

Her eyes sparkled

Like the day that we met

Her man would give his life

So that maybe their son

Would never face the same fate

As his father

blue is the way i'm feeling.
that kinda blue-grey color
of kinda sad and kinda reeling
not knowing what to do.
left over dreams occupy my blue-ness
and structure my thoughts of missing
something or someone or time.
the blue lulls in the air over my head
and i cannot chase it away.
i feel hopeless and trapped and stuck
in this awful blue-ness of mind
in day and probably the night.
a want for something is missing
or perhaps it is someone out there
that i long to hold and hold me.
yes, the blue is empyting its' color
as grey takes over the day.
grey is merely blacking and white
and both are a nothing color...

i wanted red lipstick,
my mom got me pink.
i wanted blue eyeshadow,
my dad said "i don't think".
i wanted a mini skirt
my dad said "no way".
i asked my mama,
she said"go play".
well at least,
can i have high heels?
"well we will see,
your mom and me".
i need them for 9th grade graduation.
you see it's MY generation.
please oh please, can i go to prom?
"you're really too young,
but maybe you can".
mom can make my dress
and dad can get the rest.
thanks, mom, thanks, dad.
"BE HOME BY ELEVEN THIRTY".....YES SIR......"


(how i wish it were still this way now)
and it really was this way in the 50's
at least at my house or else!!!!!

If you are bleeding, put on a bandage.
If you are depressed, take some medication.
If you are lonely, go find some friends.
If you are unloved, go find the opposite gender.

Well I’m here to tell you that,
It’s just not always that easy.
Well I’m here to tell you that,
Our wisdom makes me a bit queasy.

If you are poor, go find a job.
If you are bored, go find a hobby.
If you are cutting, throw down the scissors.
If you are ugly, go buy some makeup.

We think we’ve got all the answers,
Well let me say we’re all wrong.
We think we’ve got all the answers,
And we think we are the strong.

It’s all a lie.

Five days spent bent
On self destruction
Four days spent numb,
Not thinking about you.
So I could just trip off
Into nothing.

Four days spent in preparation,
No food or sleep.

The final day?
An overdose of a helpful substance,
Just to trip off
Into nothing.

I didn't think of you once that night.
Or the four days before.
I forgot you existed
I forgot your smile,
How safe I felt when your hands held my face,
And those nights spent kissing away your tears.

Because you forgot first.
And now, after I truly died for you,
Emotionally,
And mentally,
And oh so close to physically,
You finally answer.

"why are you so sad? I don't need this. We shouldn't talk or see eachother?"

Why? I really need you right now...
You're already gone.

Your government...
Hooray for the classes!
But I'm not going to win
Your politics

That choppy ocean
Aqua degenerate
But I'm still going to swim
Down with the ship

Burning your papers
Letters of letters
But I'm standing down wind
Breathing your smoke in

Suburban half life
Sleeping on one side
Of a bed made for two
But not just for you

Afternoon drama
Weekend teenagers
And our clothing removed
Made it all true

good lord

Without you; tripping
shallow in-depth, lies sorriest
redeem-able self

Racing and pacing
all without moving

Mind wandering to forbidden
and closed realms

Agony and bliss
all without changing

Body rebelling and
flinching blind

This time is the last

Swaying and wavering
is intolerable,
unthinkable

I am change

I am free

or hopefully,
soon to be...