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*Misc : Racing to Collapse Together.
Posted by Sapphire__Eyes on 2010/2/4 20:25:36 (50 reads)

Dancing;
weaving in and out of the trees
we race
catching up
to only fall back into pace.
Insatiable is our thirst
for freedom and clean air
thundering footsteps
pounding against the snow laden trail.
Where we are going,
one could only guess.
Where ever our feet give out
and our lungs collapse.
Breathing;
deep gulps of cold air burning down our throats
slowly our blood is full with oxygen once more
and the feeling in our legs comes back
throbbing, tingling,
painfully no longer numb.
Thrown against the snow
we lie
the cold seeping into our very cores
bone chilling and now wet
shivering we move closer.
Sigh;
Even with the cold, the ache and the tremors now racking us both
we are content.

For we are together.

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Poster Thread
Retribution101
Posted: 2010/2/10 7:40  Updated: 2010/2/10 7:40
Lead Moderator
Joined: 2005/9/16
From: Behind You!
Posts: 2730
 Re: Racing to Collapse Together.
I love the title, and this really captures the care free spirit of a peaceful and contented moment!
dancingbear9296
Posted: 2010/2/9 8:02  Updated: 2010/2/9 8:02
Joined: 2007/11/1
From: becoming a student of life
Posts: 837
 Re: Racing to Collapse Together.
I need a "love x438" button for this poem.
and of course you would see it as wolves instead of people
This is amazing Kitty
Sapphire__Eyes
Posted: 2010/2/8 10:12  Updated: 2010/2/8 10:12
Poetry is my existance
Joined: 2006/4/4
From: Just trying to get by, where ever that may be.
Posts: 2195
 Wanna know a secret?
This was a dream, and instead of the people you see.... it was wolves :)
Sapphire__Eyes
Posted: 2010/2/8 10:11  Updated: 2010/2/8 10:11
Poetry is my existance
Joined: 2006/4/4
From: Just trying to get by, where ever that may be.
Posts: 2195
 Re: Racing to Collapse Together.
I'm glad it pulled you in and you could see it all, that was my ultimate intention. :)
Sapphire__Eyes
Posted: 2010/2/8 10:11  Updated: 2010/2/8 10:11
Poetry is my existance
Joined: 2006/4/4
From: Just trying to get by, where ever that may be.
Posts: 2195
 Re: Racing to Collapse Together.
Aint that the truth.
nightwithoutarmour
Posted: 2010/2/7 18:02  Updated: 2010/2/7 18:02
Me!? Quiet!? HA!
Joined: 2007/1/12
From: "Southern by the grace of God"
Posts: 76
 Re: Racing to Collapse Together.
Oh that was so pretty. I loved it. Everything seems to hurt less when your with one you love. I'm glad you have someone you feel so close to.
Great write!
sweet_revenge
Posted: 2010/2/6 18:52  Updated: 2010/2/6 18:52
Just can't stay away
Joined: 2005/5/30
From: Wonderland
Posts: 121
 Re: Racing to Collapse Together.
now that, is beautiful. young love. Then again, it could be lovers of any age, because at heart we are all young when with the ones we love. This really made me feel like I was there, especially from the "thundering footsteps." I loved it.
SirichJ
Posted: 2010/2/6 9:55  Updated: 2010/2/6 9:55
Poetry is my existance
Joined: 2004/8/27
From: England, UK
Posts: 2777
 Re: Racing to Collapse Together.
Very sweet how you capture the feelings in the first flush of love :)
surfinseamonkeys
Posted: 2010/2/5 17:45  Updated: 2010/2/5 17:45
Just can't stay away
Joined: 2009/8/29
From:
Posts: 155
 Re: Racing to Collapse Together.
I love this on a couple of levels. First, it has the 'awww factor'...it's sweet in that it captures young love at its best; playful. Second, I like it on a sensory level...I thought you did a great job making the reader feel the Maine winter cold. Of your love poems that I've read, this is my fave. good job!
~Amy
blissfulmami
Posted: 2010/2/5 12:49  Updated: 2010/2/5 12:49
Why go anywhere else?
Joined: 2007/8/25
From: USA north east
Posts: 374
 Re: Racing to Collapse Together.
This sounds like you could have made it into a novel. Very intense up until the end. I love this, very original.

~Blissful
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